The waiting is the hardest part

(First published for Gulf Coast Media in The Baldwin Times on July 3, 2026.)

With Rhys and Rynn after meeting her for the first time May 30.

"The waiting is the hardest part."

Tom Petty fans will recognize that line immediately.

Last month, it was quite literally part of my life.

I was in Florence waiting to meet my new granddaughter, Rynn, who carries part of her Dee Dee's name with her. Rynn — named in part for DoRINda — was born May 28.

And she is beautiful. Just like her mother. Just like her grandmother.

But I had to wait to see her.

Not long, mind you. Just a couple of days.

My assignment was to watch my 5-year-old grandson, Rhys, while his mom and dad were at the hospital. Baylee wanted Rhys to be the first person to meet his new baby sister when they brought her home.

And so we waited.

Rhys waited. I waited.

Not long. But long enough that it felt much longer.

As Tom Petty once sang, the waiting was the hardest part.

Two evenings later I finally got to meet her and got to celebrate the birth of my fourth grandchild – two boys, and now, two girls.

Rhys was waiting with anticipation, looking out the window every time he would hear a car.

And then they all arrived.

Rhys got to hold her first, of course. I watched, sitting closely.

Next, it was my turn. I had been wondering what that moment would feel like when I finally got to hold this little baby girl. I knew it would be bittersweet. In a perfect world, Dorinda would have held her as I looked over her shoulders.

That’s the way it should have been.

But when I held her, it was nothing but pure joy. I saw Dorinda in her eyes, her little nose, everything about her.

And then I thought about Dorinda. Maybe she has already met her somehow, somewhere. There have been signs, things my daughter has noticed that reminds me of her mom.

I’m glad. Because my daughter needed her mom with her through her pregnancy. I did the best I could to fill in. But that wasn’t enough.

It was another one of those moments with a grandchild that will forever be bittersweet. A close friend in North Alabama has told me several times when she sees her grandchildren achieving something – whether it’s a kindergarten graduation, a sports moment, whatever – she thinks how her late husband should be there, too.

I’ll circle back to that thought.

But ironically, I also had to wait to see my first grandchild, Rhys.

He was born in St. Augustine during the height of COVID-19 – January 2021. Only one person could go in the hospital with Baylee – her mom, Dorinda.

I was left to wait. I waited some at the beach. I waited in my car in the hospital parking lot. Because of some early complications with his health, Rhys had to stay in the hospital a few extra days.

Nearly a week later, they brought Rhys home and I finally got to meet the little fellow. And there was a new reason to smile in my world.

Then came my son’s two children – Ann Evelyn in 2022 and Wallace in 2024. We got to see those new precious bundles of joy almost immediately in the hospital — Dorinda and I together.

To make it even sweeter, Dorinda became daytime caretaker for Rhys and Ann Evelyn while their parents worked.

Cousin time. Playground visits. Backyard laughs. Snack time. Naps.

The kind of ordinary moments grandparents remember forever — even when, at the time, they feel wonderfully ordinary. I took so many pictures, so many videos. Now, I wish I had pointed my camera more often toward Dorinda.

Now, just a few weeks after meeting Rynn for the very first time, another special moment awaited.

Last weekend, for the first time, all four of my grandchildren were together.

Rhys.

Ann Evelyn.

Wallace.

And baby Rynn.

All under one roof here in Gulf Shores.

And it was everything I hoped it would be.

As our nation prepares to celebrate Independence Day, I find myself quietly celebrating something important of my own.

Family.

Four beautiful reminders that life keeps moving forward, even when we wish time would stand still. And maybe that is one of life’s greatest gifts.

The next generation carries on.

As I sat finishing these thoughts, SiriusXM’s Classic Rewind channel delivered one of those moments I have learned not to ignore.

Tom Petty began singing the very song that inspired this column.

The waiting is the hardest part.

Some people call those moments coincidence. I don’t.

And suddenly, I wasn’t thinking only about waiting to meet Rhys in 2021. Or waiting to finally hold baby Rynn a few weeks ago.

I thought again about what my friend had said about watching her grandchildren grow up.

I found myself thinking about someone else who should have been there for all of it.

Dorinda.

She should have met her newest granddaughter.

She should have been here to watch all four grandchildren growing together.

She would have loved every second of it.

Waiting to meet Rhys was hard. Waiting to meet Rynn was hard.

But experiencing these beautiful moments without Bear beside me...

That was the hardest part.