Everlong

With Dorinda at a Journey concert in Tupelo, Mississippi, in 2017.

(First appeared in The Baldwin Times for Gulf Coast Media, Aug. 14, 2026.)

“Hello, I’ve waited here for you, everlong …”— “Everlong,” Foo Fighters

Music matters.

Sometimes it’s the song itself. Sometimes it’s simply the song that happened to be playing during one of the best moments of your life. And sometimes a song finds you on a day when you desperately need it.

I recently had one of those days. I was missing Dorinda badly when an email arrived reminding me to listen to 96.1 The Rocket, the local iHeart station. I clicked the button.

And there it was, playing live on the station at that very moment — “Everlong.”

Our song.

It helped for a little while. So did a drive later on that evening, just listening to music.

I was missing my grandchildren, who had all been down with their parents the previous week. And, of course, I was missing her. Looking back at photos, I realized one reason why I was struggling — it was the two-year anniversary of her ringing the bell at UAB Women & Infants Center, marking the end of her chemotherapy treatments that summer.

She was smiling that day, in that picture. I smiled, too, looking at it. We had climbed to the top of one mountain that August day.

But too many mountains were ahead.

I still know she’s with me, maybe in a sunrise or sunset. Or in a song.

I’m closing out a music-filled first eight months of the year this weekend by seeing the Foo Fighters in Nashville. There have been so many songs I’ve heard that I know by heart, so many songs I can hear my Bear singing.

It’s been bittersweet — concerts are one of my happy places. But they aren’t the same without her. We went to many concerts through our four-plus decades together — all with performers whose songs hit differently today — Journey, the Police, Bon Jovi, Tom Petty, Heart, and yes, the Foo Fighters.

And my walking difficulties make it more challenging to attend a show — parking, steps, navigating crowds, sketchy weather for outdoor events. I’m not saying I’m done with concerts altogether. I still enjoy concerts. I’m just becoming more selective about which ones are worth the effort.

My year of music started in January, seeing Pat Benatar and her husband, Neil Giraldo, in Mobile. I used to have a major crush on Pat. Hey, I think I still do, some 40 years later. Dorinda would have loved that show. Seeing it without her, though, a Heartbreaker.

In April, I saw one of my new favorite bands, Alter Bridge, in Atlanta with my son a year and a day after losing Dorinda. Their songs have resonated with me through this season of loss — “Blackbird,” “Watch Over You,” “Wonderful Life” — and so many more.

Then came July and a concert I had looked forward to for months — seeing Wolfgang Van Halen and his band, Mammoth, at The Wharf. Creed was the headliner that night and the band was excellent. But I went to see Wolfie. And here’s the best part — I went with my 5-year-old grandson, Rhys, headphones and all.

With Rhys ahead of a July 24 concert at The Wharf.

Forty-plus years ago I saw Wolfgang’s dad, Eddie Van Halen, perform with another of our favorite bands. Now he’s gone, too.

I entered August with more concerts on the calendar. First up was seeing The Wallflowers in Pensacola, which turned out to be a tribute to Petty as well. The band performed its most popular album, Bringing Down the Horse, in its entirety, marking the 30th anniversary of the record that included the hit “One Headlight.” The Wallflowers then performed Petty’s Long After Dark album and a couple of his other well-known songs.

Another show followed a couple nights later, back at The Wharf. Toto was the headliner, joined by Christopher Cross and the Romantics. There were many hits between the three performers.

So many she would have sung along with — Cross’s “Sailing” and “Ride Like the Wind.” Toto’s “Hold the Line” and “Rosanna.”

The music carried memories, something to cling to.

Circling back to where we started, with “Everlong.” Another line from it: “Breathe out, so I can breathe you in …”A friend in North Alabama who lost her husband in 2020 once told me it would take a year before I could breathe again. She was right.

So, on days and nights when I can’t breathe and there’s no one to talk with, I’ll hide in my music. Certainly, that’s one benefit of living here, with live music of some sort played somewhere most every night.

That brings me back to tomorrow night, seeing the Foo Fighters. It will be my fifth time to see them, my first without her.

My daughter or son-in-law will go with me, depending largely on the mood of a 10-week-old baby girl.There will be all of our favorite songs — “These Days,” “Walk,” “All My Life” — and many others.

And eventually there will be “Everlong.”

I’ll be waiting.

Wolfgang Van Halen performs with his band Mammoth during a July 24 concert at The Wharf.